I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
