How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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