Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
