I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
