I'm laying in your front yard are you home
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
