on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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