mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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