Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
