Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
