Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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