at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
