the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize