She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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