Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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