five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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