69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
