I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize