she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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