a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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