I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
