You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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