The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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