Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
