I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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