Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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