Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
