Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
