Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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