my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
