Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She said her name was "party"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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