he puts the penis in happiness.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
