He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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