I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
