i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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