dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
