I could make wine with my vomit
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
