i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
