I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It's just like the Real World with babies
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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