we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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