what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
