That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
