We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
