Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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