I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Randomize