Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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