There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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