Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
