So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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