Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
