redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
