white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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