"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
