Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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