you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
vagina is talking i cant
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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