I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have tasted many bathrooms
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
