remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
