there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
