Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
As shirtless as possible
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
