you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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