I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
