you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
