There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's shark week go big or go home
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
