Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize