You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize