shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
