He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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