How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
